<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?>
<rss version="2.0"
	xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/"
	xmlns:wfw="http://wellformedweb.org/CommentAPI/"
	xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/"
	xmlns:atom="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom"
	xmlns:sy="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/syndication/"
	xmlns:slash="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/slash/"
	>

<channel>
	<title>John's Ramblings &#187; Humor</title>
	<atom:link href="http://www.calnan-web.com/weblog/category/humor/feed/" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml" />
	<link>http://www.calnan-web.com/weblog</link>
	<description>It's only pain, it won't hurt you. Just ride through it.</description>
	<lastBuildDate>Tue, 25 Jan 2011 02:52:18 +0000</lastBuildDate>
	<language>en</language>
	<sy:updatePeriod>hourly</sy:updatePeriod>
	<sy:updateFrequency>1</sy:updateFrequency>
	<generator>http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1</generator>
		<item>
		<title>It&#8217;s the Weekend&#8230; Let&#8217;s Party!</title>
		<link>http://www.calnan-web.com/weblog/2010/05/28/its-the-weekend-lets-party/</link>
		<comments>http://www.calnan-web.com/weblog/2010/05/28/its-the-weekend-lets-party/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 28 May 2010 21:43:40 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>John</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Humor]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.calnan-web.com/weblog/?p=1384</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[This puppy belongs to one of our Ram-ily friends.  Great shot!  I&#8217;m not a Corona man myself, but I get this same look on my face after a few&#8230;]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div id="attachment_1385" class="wp-caption aligncenter" style="width: 310px"><a href="http://www.calnan-web.com/weblog/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/Bruce-with-Beer.jpg"><img class="size-medium wp-image-1385" title="Bruce with Beer" src="http://www.calnan-web.com/weblog/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/Bruce-with-Beer-300x225.jpg" alt="" width="300" height="225" /></a><p class="wp-caption-text">Image Copyright 2010 Jacey Cooper</p></div>
<p>This puppy belongs to one of our Ram-ily friends.  Great shot!  I&#8217;m not a Corona man myself, but I get this same look on my face after a few&#8230;</p>
]]></content:encoded>
			<wfw:commentRss>http://www.calnan-web.com/weblog/2010/05/28/its-the-weekend-lets-party/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Craigslist Messaging Guy</title>
		<link>http://www.calnan-web.com/weblog/2009/09/21/craigslist-messaging-guy/</link>
		<comments>http://www.calnan-web.com/weblog/2009/09/21/craigslist-messaging-guy/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 21 Sep 2009 19:42:53 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>John</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[web]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[craigslist]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.calnan-web.com/weblog/?p=1183</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Among the things we are divesting ourselves of (like kerosene heaters, scroll saws, and clothes that no longer fit because we&#8217;ve lost a gajillion pounds), is what formerly was our 55 gallon fishtank. The tank WAS a gorgeous centerpiece to our living room.  It was a saltwater setup, with uber filtration, protein skimming, compact florescent [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Among the things we are divesting ourselves of (like kerosene heaters, scroll saws, and clothes that no longer fit because we&#8217;ve lost a gajillion pounds), is what formerly was our 55 gallon fishtank.</p>
<p>The tank WAS a gorgeous centerpiece to our living room.  It was a saltwater setup, with uber filtration, protein skimming, compact florescent lit goodness with a ton of live rock, etc.  I didn&#8217;t love having to top off the water every couple of days, but it was pretty cool and when we got the environment dialed-in just right (after a year to two), it was pretty much on autopilot, maintenance-wise.</p>
<p>Unfortunately, the entire environment got wiped out a few years back when we had that big windstorm and resulting 6 day power outage.  Tropical salt water environments don&#8217;t survive at 42 degrees, unfortunately.  It was sad, and once we came to the realization that we&#8217;d be starting over from scratch, we put the tank and equipment into the furnace room for future consideration.  Now that we&#8217;re contemplating a long-distance move, setting it back up makes even less sense than before.  Thus, we decided to sell the whole setup on Craigslist, and a bargain price of $150 (likely what we paid for the dang light).</p>
<p>I got a few &#8220;nibbles&#8221; on the ad last week, but everyone wanted to bargain with me. One fellow wanted me to trade the aquarium for a paintball gun.  Not being motivated to become a paint-baller, nor to acquire more crap that I am not going to use, I refused.  The ad expired on Friday, so I re-posted it yesterday.</p>
<p>Today, instead of the usual email inquiries or even phone calls, I received a text message about the tank.  Conversation went JUST like this:</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">Craigslist Messaging Guy (CMG): Do you still have your fish tank for sale?</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">Me (Me): Yes</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">CMG: How low are you willing to go if I pick it up today?</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">Me: It&#8217;s still $150.</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">CMG: Would you take $100 if I pick it up right now?</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">Me: No, I&#8217;m in no hurry to sell.</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">CMG: Would you be interested in selling  jst (sic) the filter or the lights?</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">Me: Sure, how about $150, and I&#8217;ll throw in the tank and stand for free?</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">CMG: lol. I would, but I only have $100, so thats my offer.</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">Me: Give me a call if you find $50 in the couch, and I&#8217;ll contact you if the price drops.</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">
]]></content:encoded>
			<wfw:commentRss>http://www.calnan-web.com/weblog/2009/09/21/craigslist-messaging-guy/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Ramblings: now serving perverts in Russia</title>
		<link>http://www.calnan-web.com/weblog/2009/04/14/ramblings-now-serving-perverts-in-russia/</link>
		<comments>http://www.calnan-web.com/weblog/2009/04/14/ramblings-now-serving-perverts-in-russia/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 14 Apr 2009 17:47:48 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>John</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[web]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.calnan-web.com/weblog/?p=898</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[When you&#8217;ve got one of these website/blog things, you can see what postings/pages are getting viewed, and in some cases how the viewer made it to your page (such as a Google search phrase).  By far my most popular post has been &#8220;Bicycle Porn&#8220;, which was purposely mistitled in order to gain hits.  That posting [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>When you&#8217;ve got one of these website/blog things, you can see what postings/pages are getting viewed, and in some cases how the viewer made it to your page (such as a Google search phrase).  By far my most popular post has been &#8220;<a title="Bicycle Porn" href="http://www.calnan-web.com/weblog/2008/10/17/bicycle-porn/">Bicycle Porn</a>&#8220;, which was purposely mistitled in order to gain hits.  That posting was actually a call for folks to get out and vote in the last national election.  A day does not go by, however, that some kinkster doesn&#8217;t enter &#8220;bicycle porn&#8221; into their search engine, and end up on my blog.</p>
<p>I saw a strange referring link this morning in my stats, and when I clicked it, I got this result:</p>
<p><a href="http://www.calnan-web.com/weblog/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/russian.jpg"><img class="alignnone size-full wp-image-899" title="russian" src="http://www.calnan-web.com/weblog/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/russian.jpg" alt="russian" width="500" height="395" /></a></p>
<p>It&#8217;s an auto-tranlsated rendering of my Bicycle Porn posting.  It&#8217;s springtime, after all, and I&#8217;m sure that as the weather warms in Russia, the boys there turn their thoughts to sex and bicycles just as much as their American counterparts.</p>
]]></content:encoded>
			<wfw:commentRss>http://www.calnan-web.com/weblog/2009/04/14/ramblings-now-serving-perverts-in-russia/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Something to keep me focused</title>
		<link>http://www.calnan-web.com/weblog/2009/03/07/something-to-keep-me-focused/</link>
		<comments>http://www.calnan-web.com/weblog/2009/03/07/something-to-keep-me-focused/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 07 Mar 2009 22:50:45 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>John</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[exercise]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[food]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[goals]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.calnan-web.com/weblog/?p=762</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[A friend turned me on to despair.com the other day, where they have lots of those parodies of motivational posters.  They have a do-it-yourself section now, where you can upload a photo, add title and text, and save it to your local computer or even have them print it as a poster (for a fee).  [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>A friend turned me on to <a title="Despair.com" href="http://www.despair.com/">despair.com</a> the other day, where they have lots of those parodies of motivational posters.  They have a do-it-yourself section now, where you can upload a photo, add title and text, and save it to your local computer or even have them print it as a poster (for a fee).  I whipped one up to remind me about how I got overweight in the first place, and why dieting often fails me:</p>
<p><a href="http://www.calnan-web.com/weblog/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/poster85043343.jpg"><img class="alignnone size-full wp-image-764" title="poster" src="http://www.calnan-web.com/weblog/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/poster.jpg" alt="poster" width="500" height="400" /></a></p>
]]></content:encoded>
			<wfw:commentRss>http://www.calnan-web.com/weblog/2009/03/07/something-to-keep-me-focused/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Happy Birthday, Big Roddy!</title>
		<link>http://www.calnan-web.com/weblog/2009/02/28/happy-birthday-big-roddy/</link>
		<comments>http://www.calnan-web.com/weblog/2009/02/28/happy-birthday-big-roddy/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 28 Feb 2009 15:05:03 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>John</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Humor]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.calnan-web.com/weblog/?p=736</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Try JibJab Sendables&#174; eCards today!]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div style='background-color:#e9e9e9; width: 460px;'><object id='A25500' quality='high' data='http://aka.zero.jibjab.com/client/zero/ClientZero_EmbedViewer.swf?external_make_id=kuze4gtiOfTDUItf&#038;service=sendables.jibjab.com&#038;partnerID=JibJab' pluginspage='http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer' type='application/x-shockwave-flash' wmode='transparent' height='344' width='460'><param name='wmode' value='transparent'></param><param name='movie' value='http://aka.zero.jibjab.com/client/zero/ClientZero_EmbedViewer.swf?external_make_id=kuze4gtiOfTDUItf&#038;service=sendables.jibjab.com&#038;partnerID=JibJab'></param><param name='scaleMode' value='showAll'></param><param name='quality' value='high'></param><param name='allowNetworking' value='all'></param><param name='allowFullScreen' value='true' /><param name='FlashVars' value='external_make_id=kuze4gtiOfTDUItf&#038;service=sendables.jibjab.com&#038;partnerID=JibJab'></param><param name='allowScriptAccess' value='always'></param></object>
<div style='text-align:center; width:470px; margin-top:6px;'>Try JibJab Sendables&reg; <a href='http://sendables.jibjab.com/ecards'>eCards</a> today!</div>
</div>
<p><img style="visibility:hidden;width:0px;height:0px;" border=0 width=0 height=0 src="http://counters.gigya.com/wildfire/IMP/CXNID=2000002.0NXC/bT*xJmx*PTEyMzU4MzMxOTc3ODMmcHQ9MTIzNTgzMzM3NDgzMCZwPTE5MTEzMSZkPTEwNTQmZz*yJnQ9Jm89MWQwOTZhZjg4ZGNlNDE1ZGFjMzY4ZjU1MGUyYmI3MzI=.gif" /></p>
]]></content:encoded>
			<wfw:commentRss>http://www.calnan-web.com/weblog/2009/02/28/happy-birthday-big-roddy/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Search Terms</title>
		<link>http://www.calnan-web.com/weblog/2008/12/18/search-terms/</link>
		<comments>http://www.calnan-web.com/weblog/2008/12/18/search-terms/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 19 Dec 2008 01:13:58 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>John</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[blogging]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[exercise]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[statistics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[wordpress]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.calnan-web.com/weblog/?p=532</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[When you do this blogging thing, you have access to statistics about blog activity.  Not who&#8217;s reading it, but what they are reading and what search terms they used to find you.  I find the search phrases amusing, like today&#8217;s offering: The next-to-last entry caught my fancy today.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>When you do this blogging thing, you have access to statistics about blog activity.  Not who&#8217;s reading it, but what they are reading and what search terms they used to find you.  I find the search phrases amusing, like today&#8217;s offering:</p>
<p><img class="alignnone size-full wp-image-533" title="stats" src="http://www.calnan-web.com/weblog/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/stats.jpg" alt="stats" width="667" height="219" /></p>
<p>The next-to-last entry caught my fancy today.</p>
]]></content:encoded>
			<wfw:commentRss>http://www.calnan-web.com/weblog/2008/12/18/search-terms/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>The Ram is closed on Thanksgiving</title>
		<link>http://www.calnan-web.com/weblog/2008/11/27/the-ram-is-closed-on-thanksgiving/</link>
		<comments>http://www.calnan-web.com/weblog/2008/11/27/the-ram-is-closed-on-thanksgiving/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 27 Nov 2008 23:30:47 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>John</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[beer]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[kent]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[thanksgiving]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[the ram]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[washington]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.calnan-web.com/weblog/2008/11/27/the-ram-is-closed-on-thanksgiving/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I hope it doesn&#8217;t rain tonight.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/jcalnan/3063866563/" title="The Ram is closed on Thanksgiving by JohnCalnan, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3202/3063866563_a1ae999e9f.jpg" width="500" height="396" alt="The Ram is closed on Thanksgiving" /></a><br />
I hope it doesn&#8217;t rain tonight.</p>
]]></content:encoded>
			<wfw:commentRss>http://www.calnan-web.com/weblog/2008/11/27/the-ram-is-closed-on-thanksgiving/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>3</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>OMG! He called me, he called me!</title>
		<link>http://www.calnan-web.com/weblog/2008/11/03/omg-he-called-me-he-called-me/</link>
		<comments>http://www.calnan-web.com/weblog/2008/11/03/omg-he-called-me-he-called-me/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 04 Nov 2008 04:09:58 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>John</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[politics]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.calnan-web.com/weblog/?p=476</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Barack Obama just called me. No kidding. He wanted to make sure I got out and voted tomorrow! I tried to explain that I voted over a week ago, using an absentee ballot. There must have been something wrong with the connection, because for some reason he couldn&#8217;t hear me. Too bad, because I was [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Barack Obama just called me.  No kidding.  He wanted to make sure I got out and voted tomorrow!  I tried to explain that I voted over a week ago, using an absentee ballot.  There must have been something wrong with the connection, because for some reason he couldn&#8217;t hear me.  Too bad, because I was making some really good points about bicycles and stuff.  </p>
<p>Now, go do your part!  As of tonight, only 52.20% of the absentee ballots have been received by King County.  What is up with that?  You can still post-mark it by tomorrow, or drop it off at your local polling place.</p>
<p>I&#8217;ve actually had the short-sightedness to schedule my first Use-It-Or-Lose-It ride of the winter for tomorrow night.  So, I&#8217;ll have to wait until the end of the ride to get all the results (if anyone shows!).</p>
<p><object type="application/x-shockwave-flash" data="http://widgets.clearspring.com/o/48ff995c49a30ff2/490fcb95d606f63a/490532f277debe70/4d8b222b/-cpid/ffbd76980a525a" id="W48ff995c49a30ff2490fcb95d606f63a" width="400" height="545"><param name="movie" value="http://widgets.clearspring.com/o/48ff995c49a30ff2/490fcb95d606f63a/490532f277debe70/4d8b222b/-cpid/ffbd76980a525a" /><param name="wmode" value="transparent" /><param name="allowNetworking" value="all" /><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always" /></object></p>
]]></content:encoded>
			<wfw:commentRss>http://www.calnan-web.com/weblog/2008/11/03/omg-he-called-me-he-called-me/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>4</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>In search of his next great milestone</title>
		<link>http://www.calnan-web.com/weblog/2007/11/03/in-search-of-his-next-great-milestone/</link>
		<comments>http://www.calnan-web.com/weblog/2007/11/03/in-search-of-his-next-great-milestone/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 03 Nov 2007 15:15:19 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>John</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Cycling]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Humor]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.calnan-web.com/weblog/2007/11/03/in-search-of-his-next-great-milestone/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[He beat cancer. He won the Tour de France. 7 times. What new and lofty goal will Lance Armstrong seek next? He battled brain and testicular cancer, and came out of it a better athlete. To win the Tour de France is perhaps the greatest desire for every cyclist. Once you&#8217;ve done that, more times [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>He beat cancer.</p>
<p>He won the Tour de France.</p>
<p>7 times.</p>
<p>What new and lofty goal will Lance Armstrong seek next?  He battled brain and testicular cancer, and came out of it a better athlete.  To win the Tour de France is perhaps the greatest desire for every cyclist.  Once you&#8217;ve done that, more times than any other human has ever done it, what achievement could could you seek that would even come close to the drama, the pursuit of a dream that lies beyond the grasp of countless men who would desire to attain it?   What would that be?</p>
<p><a href="http://www.nypost.com/seven/10312007/gossip/pagesix/pagesix.htm" title="NY Post, Page Six" target="_blank">Twins</a>.</p>
<p><img src="http://www.calnan-web.com/weblog/img/twins.jpg" alt="Olsen twins" align="middle" height="351" width="325" /></p>
]]></content:encoded>
			<wfw:commentRss>http://www.calnan-web.com/weblog/2007/11/03/in-search-of-his-next-great-milestone/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>The Madness of Crowds</title>
		<link>http://www.calnan-web.com/weblog/2007/07/09/the-madness-of-crowds/</link>
		<comments>http://www.calnan-web.com/weblog/2007/07/09/the-madness-of-crowds/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 09 Jul 2007 17:05:44 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>John</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Humor]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.calnan-web.com/weblog/2007/07/09/the-madness-of-crowds/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[You would have thought that someone had spotted the Virgin Mary in a Slurpee or something&#8230; In a promotion for the upcoming Simpson&#8217;s Movie, twelve 7-11 stores across the nation have been converted to look like the Kwik-E-Mart in the animated cartoon series. Folks were actually lined up around the block to go into a [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>You would have thought that someone had spotted the Virgin Mary in a Slurpee or something&#8230;</p>
<p>In a promotion for the upcoming Simpson&#8217;s Movie, twelve 7-11 stores across the nation have been converted to look like the Kwik-E-Mart in the animated cartoon series.<br />
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/jcalnan/761605077/" title="Photo Sharing"><img src="http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1187/761605077_02fd087459.jpg" alt="Kwik-E-Mart" height="328" width="500" /></a><br />
Folks were actually lined up around the block to go into a 7-11.  Marketing savvy, meet public gullibility.<br />
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/jcalnan/761605649/" title="Photo Sharing"><img src="http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1184/761605649_0e4f02c994.jpg" alt="The Madness of Crowds" height="258" width="500" /></a><br />
No, I didn&#8217;t stop and go inside.</p>
<p>I was in Los Angeles over the weekend visiting the folks.  No riding, so it&#8217;s back on the bike today.  <acronym title="Seattle To Portland in One Day">STPOD</acronym> looms.  Which, in it&#8217;s own way, ties back into the Madness of Crowds.  there are 9,000 registered riders for the STP this year.  Registrations sold out a month or so ago.  While Cascade rides often have riders participate that are not registered, I would expect that the turnout of unregistered riders will be especially high because of the sellout.  The first 100 miles could be especially crowded (and dangerous due to the shoulder-to-shoulder passing that occurs) if the weather is good.</p>
]]></content:encoded>
			<wfw:commentRss>http://www.calnan-web.com/weblog/2007/07/09/the-madness-of-crowds/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
		</item>
	</channel>
</rss>

<!-- Dynamic Page Served (once) in 0.255 seconds -->

