John’s Ramblings

Today was primary election day in Washington State. I’m registered as a permanent absentee ballot, but with the trip to California I did not get my voting done until this morning. I wasn’t ready to mark the thing on the 6th (when we left town), as I wanted to see if anyone made a complete fool of themselves in the intervening 2 weeks.

I located my ballot yesterday, buried in paper on my desk. The envelopes (two) required to return said ballot were missing-in-action. I tossed the office, went through my recycle bin scrap-by-scrap, and looked in every logical and illogical location in the house. No envelopes.

Not wanting to give up my right to vote because of a little missing paper, I marked my little ballot and went to my local polling place this morning. I threw myself on the mercy of Little Old Voting Lady #1, who pointed ominously toward the last table in the room. “You must file a Provisional Ballot!”. I marched past Little Old Voting Ladies 2-7, and stood before Little Old Voting Lady #8. #1 shouts across the room “DESTROY HIS BALLOT! HE’S PROVISIONAL NOW!”. My mind is racing over the horror stories of elections over the past 8 years, with recounts, hanging chads, and the dreaded “Exclusion of Provisional Ballots” as I handed #8 my now useless ballot.

I was given a new ballot and envelope, printed with various bright colors that undoubtedly scream “Don’t count me, but it you do, then challenge me too”. As it turns out, the first substitute ballot she handed me was not correct, as it was missing the school and fire issues. After we sent my second ballot to it’s grave, I finally was able to mark my third and final ballot, sign here, here, there, here, and here, and drop it into a small slot on the side of the ballot counting apparatus. It could have just as well been a camouflaged garbage can, for all I knew. #’s 1-8 thanked me for my patience (the marking of 3 ballot-bubbles had taken close to 30 minutes), and I departed confident that I had tried my best to be counted, and that I would never, ever, ever lose my envelopes again.

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